


no promises

by howlish



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, canon-compliant fake death, moribund romance, shit's bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25995814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howlish/pseuds/howlish
Summary: Realizing how much you love someone on the eve of disaster is the pits. A bittersweet little drabble of pre-timeskip Sylvdue.
Relationships: Sylvain Jose Gautier/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	no promises

Kissing him felt almost like a cruel joke where the punchline was just out of view. Sylvain had kissed a hundred people, girls and boys and whoever else paid him any attention, and every one had been shallow, and worthless, and nothing compared to the warmth of being wrapped in Dedue’s arms, held close to his chest, and kissed for the first time. Dedue’s lips were a little dry, his hands were a little coarse, and Sylvain wanted so desperately to know every other part of him as soon as possible.

But there was the joke. _Something_ was on the horizon, everyone felt it, disaster had a way of building like a low hum and it was beginning to drown out all other sound. He wanted to kiss Dedue a hundred times more and slowly open up the man who had been hated by everyone most his life, he wanted to run his fingers along old scars and not need to ask where they came from, because it didn’t matter, pain may have molded both of them but it could not define them. He wanted a full fucking year to do this _properly_. Because it would be easy to get Dedue to bend for him now, to have him bedded within the week— it was all Sylvain was any good at. He understood people better than most of them would ever realize, could pick out the weaknesses and cracks in any mask, could reach his fist into any chest, could grasp any heart.

But that was not real. It was a game he played with the people who hated him, who he hated in turn, people he let close _only_ so he could get his claws into their hearts. With people who he thought really cared about him until he saw one piece of evidence, heard one false inflection too many, and fell into a spiral that always ended at _I’m nothing but a tool, again_. Dedue was not that. Would not become that, he thought, and this time it felt… _really, this time, it felt real_.

So the hum of disaster approached, and he was kissing Dedue in the kitchen in the middle of the night, and he wanted to do this right. He drew away, just enough to run his thumb over Dedue’s cheek, and his words came out breathy. “Give me time,” he asked, and even as it came out he knew it was a lie. Not his usual venom. Just reality playing a cruel joke. “I wanna do this right.”

“Of course,” Dedue’s answer was warm, and happy, and Sylvain wanted to cry. Couldn’t he hear disaster coming? Or had he just faced too many to care?

——

“Let me take you somewhere.” Sylvain knew his nerves were coming through in his voice plain as day. He could have stopped them, but he didn’t want to. He wanted Dedue to know— _I’m nervous_.

He’d always avoided the Goddess Tower like a plague. Whether it meant faking sick, bribing someone into demanding his time, anything to avoid meeting someone he didn’t care about there. It wasn’t like he believed in any old superstition about vows made under conveniently specific stars… but he knew other people did, and to make a promise he didn’t mean under that kind of pressure felt too cruel even for him. Just the mention of the Goddess Tower could turn his stomach in knots while he smiled and said _I think Felix needed me that night, but I’ll try to wriggle out of it for you, sweetheart._

Tonight, though, he moved towards the tower with a purpose, holding a warm hand that was a little coarse. They didn’t talk much on the walk there— they always kept their public conversations as casual and harmless as ever, a quiet agreement that much as Sylvain and Dedue adored each other, they did not care to nurture a budding relationship under the harsh eyes of public scrutiny. Even Felix and Dimitri were left in the dark, for now. It was, logically, for the best.

And also, though neither of them would say it openly, it was kind of fun to have a secret tryst. To sneak a kiss in the hall and break away just as a door opened, for Sylvain to offer to help Dedue out with a chore (to get out of a different chore) only to steal away a few precious moments of warm whispers… He hadn’t yet been willing to risk slipping into Dedue’s room for some late-night canoodling, they would be caught in an instant, but the urge was unshakeable.

The Goddess Tower was almost as risky, if not as believable. If someone saw them here, if someone overheard them, it could mean all their care was ruined. But still Sylvain climbed the steps, and still Dedue did not pull away.

“One sec,” Sylvain whispered, and released Dedue’s hand to peek his head around the corner— and when he saw nothing, he moved a few paces in to be sure. When he was satisfied, he turned back and grinned. “Coast is clear, but who knows for how long. A lot of young lovers out tonight.”

“And us among them,” Dedue mused; for what it was worth, he sounded happy.

Sylvain pulled him out to the edge of the railing, and they turned to take in the view: up at the sky, down at the monastery grounds, wherever they looked it was.. pretty. He kept his hand rested atop Dedue’s, and after a long moment, spoke quietly. “No promises tonight. I just wanted to see it. Couldn’t think of anyone better to see it with.”

No promises meant no pressure— no later guilt when whatever disaster was on their horizon finally fell.

Dedue shifted, and Sylvain felt his hand squeezed lightly. His silence held his answer: _no promises._ Maybe he felt it after all.

Sylvain’s gaze pulled away from the stars back to Dedue, and caught Dedue staring warmly back. He opened his mouth to break the silence, but before he could, the short distance between them was closed in another kiss.

Four months later, war had broken out, and Dedue and Dimitri were pronounced dead.


End file.
